TanGreen

Baubles

Ok, so I had big plans for this post – really dig up some great research on the process behind this consumer good. But let me be honest, I ran short on time and I think it is important that this subject be mentioned in time for Valentine’s Day. I think the point will remain without all the gory details on strip mining, mountain top removal, lost lives…

When I was young I remember clearly shopping for jewelry with my parents – it was a special trip to Boston for this rare purchase. My mom taught me how to identify well made fine jewelry from lower quality goods – are the edges well constructed? Is the piece hollow or solid? If hollow, is the material strong enough to hold its shape? Are any stones of high quality? And of course I learned the 4 C’s of diamonds.

So is this a solicitation for my Reader-Friends to buy me a bauble for Hearts Day? No, but I know many people do celebrate love with jewelry. So first, let me encourage you to select finely crafted items. Let me also encourage you to think about these things:

Jewelry is hard on Mother Earth. All gems and stones are mined as are precious metals. The mining process destroys ecosystems and strips land of natural elements, leaving rubble behind.
Mining is hard on miners. There are, especially in non-industrialized nations, real human rights issues for mine workers. I do not speak to a great knowledge about Blood Diamonds and other extremes of these issues – but to be sure, people are taken for granted in the process of obtaining precious materials for baubles (perhaps one of the least truly necessary purchases possible!).

What is a girl (or guy) who likes sparkly things to do? Here are some options:

Less is more. As stated, I like well crafted jewelry. This usually costs a little more than poorly made “fine” jewelry and certainly than mass produced items. So stick to the budget and select just one piece for a special occasion rather than just collecting pretty things. Only in the last few years has our budget allowed for adding pieces of jewelry beyond our wedding rings. But each piece has been purchased for something in particular: a baby, a promotion. There is a story and flood of memories when I see these items – they make me feel good because of those strong associations.
Estate Jewelry. This is a great option if there are stores in your area that sell Estate goods. Yes, this is used jewelry (see also, your local pawn shop). But good quality wears well and it is like a little treasure hunt. I feel confident saying that your budget will go further as well. When I was pregnant with Dante my knuckles grew – and never shrank again. So my wedding rings no longer fit and I didn’t want to resize until we thought we were all done with pregnancy. I didn’t like that I had no wedding ring, though. So I went to see what the cheapest thinnest wedding band cost at our local jeweler. More than I wanted to spend. Then I noticed the vintage and estate case. Like a light bulb over my head. What a great way to save cash and reduce my impact on the world. A nicer ring at half the price.
Go gem free. There are amazing pieces of shaped and sculpted metals out there that are lovely without gems. Gemstones are removed from the earth in all sorts of ways, as are metals. Reduce impact by just consuming one resource. There are other options as well such as enameled pieces (popular right now). Another option here is lab created gems. Chemically the same as one from the ground but grown as a crystal structure in a lab. Much more affordable as well, but of course not as “precious” as a rare stone.
Reshape something old. I remember hearing from an uncle that he and his wife were melting down the gold from their wedding rings to make anniversary rings for the 20^th. I just thought that was the most romantic thing. But it is also a great was to reduce demand for precious metals.
Pearls. Farmed pearls (pretty much all that are available today) have less impact on the environment – and actually can only thrive in clean waters. The whole oyster is used for industrial purposes…
Artisan pieces. Moving away from the “fine jewelry” category and into “fashion jewelry” you can find amazing, creative works of art in paper jewelry, glass jewelry, even recycled rubber (had to have a link on that!).

If you are considering a gift of jewelry – or want to leave this page up to hint to someone else that you would like them to consider a gift of jewelry – think about the impact of these very fun but actually frivolous items. Just like any purchase, there are many ways to make this is a bit more considered and mindful and reduce the resources you are consuming and the impact on the earth. However you show your love, Happy (early) Valentine’s Day!

Married in 1955

Today at church I sat in the back as usual with some friends – an older couple with whom we have really connected. While holding Gabriel they both head up for the “Blessing of Life” celebration portion of Mass. There, holding Gabriel, they announced they were celebrating their anniversary. Their 56^th anniversary. Can you imagine? That is roughly eleven times as long as Nathan and I have been married. And you may think of couples together that long as perhaps boring, introverted, homebodies. Oh no, these two are modern, globe traveling, liberal, extroverts – they barely look 56. They have energy and it is contagious. I so enjoy watching them with Dante and Gabriel. And I find it to be a great blessing to have them as an example of a full life lived together. And an even greater blessing is that there are actually many other couples in our church who have strong, long term marriages, many married 45 years and more. And they too are amazing people who provide inspiration. It is inspiring to me to see what is possible through the messy course of life – to hear the stories of how they met, what their kids were like when toddlers, how they have face trials as families, and to see that they made it – are making it – through. This is one of the many ways the church we belong to – Episcopal Church of the Epiphany – helps bolster and support me in a relentlessly messy, occasionally fast-food, mostly enjoyable world. Today’s good news was wonderfully fortifying.

Saying Good Bye to our Pups

We said good-bye to our dogs over these past two weeks. Thinking abstractly about what would happen if one of our pets were aggressive with kids or we had an allergy issue is so very different than going through the actions of “rehoming” your loved pets. I have been largely quiet about Gabriel’s eczema since proclaiming the good that goat milk did for him. And while that did well for him in the short run, all the symptoms came back after a couple weeks. Moreover, the itching had never gone away and that, it turns out, is the real issue – as the itching leads to breaking open the skin leads to itching and possible infection and so forth. As the hunt for a cause continued (or really started as we had to wait so long to see the medical specialist) it came to light that we cannot test for allergies until Gabriel is one (April) but that given my allergies to cats and my dad’s to household pets, G was most certainly having trouble living with our dogs. Deep down, I think I knew that, we had gone through about every food trial possible for a baby on a liquid diet. I didn’t want to hear it, until I had to though.

We got Zippy as a four month old pup soon after we got to Vegas. He was my buddy. Nathan traveled a lot at that time and I had just moved across the county to a town where I knew precisely 2 people. Better than none, to be sure, but I was lonely and Zippy was my cure. He was good company and cute to boot. He felt, you could tell, displaced by Dante and when Gabriel arrived he actually gave me a withering look. His life with us was not what it once was – not multi-mile evening walks and hours of petting and playing. Replace all that with being chased, pestered while he ate and surrounded by constant noise and commotion. As a somewhat high strung very small dog, he wasn’t happy anymore but that didn’t diminish what we felt about him.

Lily entered our life when, after displaying a lot of energy, we thought Zippy needed a pet. Lily arrived as a 7 week old and quickly grew to be twice Zippy’s size (though she was supposed to be the same). She is a loving girl with a sweet dopiness about her…and never quite so much energy as Zippy. She was great company to me as well and would nap on Nathan as long as he would allow. She was most upset at losing her place on the couch when kids came into the picture. Though she adapted better than Zippy to the little ones, I think she too longed for the days when she was one of the babies.

In honestly assessing our situation, Nathan and I came fairly quickly to the realization that the only ones benefitting from the dogs in our house was us. Time for the pups to find homes where they are the babies and give our baby the best chance at being healthy all on his own. Putting our child first is easy most of the time and while there was really no decision here – the dogs needed new homes, period – it has been hard to accept. But the search was on and both Nathan and I put feelers out at work and through church and to our petsitters. Our petsitters have been part of our life for almost 7 years…being on call for labor and there when we were both traveling for work. It was perhaps hardest to tell these lovely older ladies that our pups were up for new homes. One thing I have wrestled with is feeling like a failure. I believe firmly that your take on a pet for its lifetime and here I am sending out two pups with half their lives left. Then again, maybe they would find homes better suited to them now than ours.

In a moment of kismet, just a couple days after we made this decision a business associate came by the house – and mentioned that she had a 7 year old mini dachshund, too! Oh really? Would you like more mini dachshunds? Well, Zippy worked his charms on her and before I really had a chance to internalize what was happening – and without being able to get in touch with Nathan – Zippy had a new home. Crazy, right? Perhaps it was best not to linger in good byes. And let me tell you I am pretty sure Zippy has boxed us up and put us on a mental shelf – his new sibling finally matches his energy levels, the pups are totally the babies there and he traded his sleeping crate for THE BED. Zippy – you provided me with the love and company I needed for a long time. I am so glad you have a home that fulfills your doggie daydreams.

For her part, Lily realized that Zippy was gone and that she must be next. When I sweet talked a family from church into seeing her, she hid behind me, cried, barked at their four year old and generally acted fearful. Ok, like my heart wasn’t breaking enough? Now I added the mental calculus of figuring out how to introduce Lily to prospective adopters and not make her seem like a rehabilitation case.

For a few days it was feeling pretty desperate with no leads and interest falling off. Then one of the petsitters randomly met a woman in a park who runs a group called Animal Bonds, sort of a dog whisperer, who offered to take Lily’s information and send it to her contacts. Sure, ok. I sent an email and heard nothing back. Then about two days later it became apparent that Lily’s information has made its way to a good chunk of the employees of the Clark County School District (4^th largest in the US, I believe). And I got a slew of emails. My first reaction was recoiling at all these people wanting to take me dog and their brash questions about her color and weight. But in the same moment my heart swelled and tears came as I realized that there were a lot of good folks wanting to help our pup live a good life and that we could find her a fine home. It is hard to recognize that you are replaceable but the hard truth was that since the boys came along, the pups had taken second string and this really was a chance to find them happier homes.

Though Lily had somewhat settled down from when we adopted out Zippy, she was still unsettled. But I had been in communication with a lovely elementary teacher-to-be about her and guess what – they were just what we were looking for. A couple, with summers off, who like walks but not runs and want to celebrate Lily’s birthday with her. Our elementary teacher came with her husband yesterday to meet our girl. I was elated to find out he is an orchestra teacher. For middle school. Brave, brave man. And Lily took to them…though she still knew what was happening. With this match made, off she went for a new life and there we stood. Not dog owners for the first time in nearly a decade. Lily – you provided us such love and devotion. Please provide that to Leann and Joe.

So there we were no pups to give veggie ends to, no fuzzy heads on my lap, no sweet dachsie faces in mine. Also no worries about Dante chasing Zippy, no guilt that I haven’t walked them in…awhile, no barking to disturb nap time. But here’s the real thing: no Gabriel itching. Through ways I will talk about in future posts, we were able to give Gabriel a trial stay in a home that was dander free. The difference was swift – his medications were able to be reduced by about two thirds in under a week.

Parenting is an ever changing challenge. Sure there will be hard talks to have, discipline to figure out, negotiations over green beans, curfews and colleges…and they will be hard. Saying good-bye to our pups though has been the hardest thing so far.

Reader-Friends, this is one of many changes we have going on right now…though I wish I could promise a return to regular posts I don’t think that will happen quite yet. Please do keep visiting – Facebook or a subscription will let you know when there is a new post. Thank you!

Thank You Notes

There is something about New Year’s that makes me thankful. I think it’s that I always wrote my Christmas thank you notes about now. Do you write thank you notes?

My mom always insisted on thank you notes and as I child I hated them. But something funny happened in my late twenties…I started to really like getting thank you notes. So, thank you to my sister in law who made me appreciate thank you notes by making me feel more like family though hers – it was nice to know my thought was appreciated but also that I was moving into a family that valued gratitude in a way I did as well. The point of giving is not to be thanked of course, but it is so nice when you feel genuine appreciation.

In October I worked on a fundraiser for our church. I put in a good many hours before hand and engaged about 10 parishioners to provide tapas dishes to share. After the event I wrote about 10 thank you notes to those chefs – it seemed like a small gesture but one to show my appreciation and that of the fundraiser committee. Nearly every one of those ladies thanked me deeply for the thank you note. They were amazed that a mother of two small children would take the time for such a thing. Let me tell you it took just a few minutes compared to what I had spent on the rest of the event but that was a tangible item that stood out. I think it stood out that I was so thankful I would take two minutes to jot a note – and it emphasized how the Thank You note is dying. And why I need to keep up the tradition.

I hope you take some time in 2012 to write thank you notes. I have no resolutions this year. With Gabriel turning one in a couple months and Dante turning three on the heels of that I pray to just make it through to 2013 having clean underwear everyday and serving something that can pass as dinner each night.

With thank you notes on my mind, and no resolutions to throw into 2012, I thought I would share my thank you note for 2011.

Thank you for 12 eventful and fulfilling months. Though I found it emotionally tough to get through the last months of pregnancy, you helped by throwing so much into January, February and March I barely had time to feel the brute weight of my belly or worry about how brotherhood wold grow in our household. Thank you for a safe and healthy delivery of my baby angel Gabriel and the most amazing meeting between brothers I could have hoped for. Thank you for a beautiful 14 weeks of time off with my family where I grew closer to both my sons and my husband. Thank you for the opportunity of a promotion at work, thereby ensuring the last months of the year were as full as the first. Thank you for allowing me to make into habit for me and my family eating whole food, using safe and non-toxic cleaners and body products and emphasizing experiences and faith over material goods (the core of my granola mom mentality…). Thank you for showing a light at the end of our financial tunnel (though you will share that with 2012 – I hope!). Thank you for all those large and small events building year over year that have brought me to where I am today.

It is so easy to be negative or worry or just not be deeply thankful for the gestures of other people, God and the universe. I feel worry and I complain though I try to keep that out of Tan/Green…who reads the work of a whiny blogger? I use this space to share my best attempts and goals and hope that may even influence a reader-friend or two. So if you have a few minutes make sure to send a thank you note or two (handwritten is the best, maybe start with your mom…) And maybe even take time (really for your own benefit) to thank 2011 for what it did for you – and share it here if you like!

Happy New Year! Here’s to 2012!